Since our story isn't a typical one, I wanted to write a bit from the heart about the incredible journey that has led our family to this next chapter of our lives. I don't plan to blog frequently as I did with Grace's birth but I felt that this journey has a beautiful story of its own. I'd like to start by saying how crazy blessed Thom & I are in our lives. But I honestly feel that it was not until we faced tragedy surrounding Brynlee's birth in 2010 that we learned how DEEPLY our blessings are rooted. Since most of you know the story, I won't get into details. But our lives were forever changed when I woke two days later to find out that A) I was lucky to be alive and B) I'd never be pregnant again. Thom & I handled the emotions very differently and for that reason we struggled. There were times when we worried that our marriage would not survive. But it was THERE in the depths of the sadness, the anger, the "WHY ME?", and the bitterness that we discovered one of our greatest blessings: the deep love of our friends & family.
When we got home from the hospital I was overwhelmed with emotion and didn't want to see anybody besides Thom, my mom, and our beautiful baby Brynlee. I was afraid to show my weakness and feared that I would break down in front of people who loved me. The thought of people worrying about me or feeling sad for me just increased my stress. One of the first few visitors that I agreed to see was my best friend Emily and her husband Frank. Emily knows me so well-I knew she was safe. I remember her hugging me so tightly as we sobbed together-she knew just what to say and do to first let me cry and then make me laugh. That's just Emily. And that's why I love her.
Emily and I met in kindergarten. I'd be lying for the sake of this story if I said that I remembered our friendship way back then but there's evidence in old bday party pictures that we were buddies. And I KNOW we were lab partners in 7th grade science class because I was REALLY jealous when my crush retrieved her peapod plant for her since she was on crutches. But it wasn't until the summer of 8th grade, when I randomly asked Emily to join my family on Cape Cod for the weekend, that we really connected. There IS discussion that perhaps I asked her to come to the Cape only after exhausting everyone else in the yearbook as her last name ("Woodman") was at the end of the alphabet. ("Aw crap, I GUESS I'll call her. She'll be free"). But I prefer to think that God had a hand in my phone call that day because Emily and I were inseparable from that weekend forward. We spent most afternoons after school eating bagels and drinking Coke while discussing our school drama and crushes. It was rare to see us apart on the weekends either joint babysitting or having "sister weekends" in which would pick a house to live in for the weekend as if we were truly sisters. After sophomore year, Emily spent the summer with my family on the Cape where we worked our first jobs together at Stop & Shop. We had high hopes of being the most popular girls on the Cape, envisioning friends knocking down our door and leaving messages for us on our outdoor white board (we never DID get any messages...strange). But when that plan fell through, we spent most of our after-work hours at the beach, quizzing each other on PLU codes for every fruit/vegetable in the produce aisle (WICKED cool btw-bet you don't know "4011"), and of course planning our futures in which we would marry best friends. When Emily and I went off to separate colleges, we were frequent flyers at each others campuses and also became close with each others new college friends. Out of college, we shared an apartment in Roslindale, during which time I finally met my future husband, Thom. Since we HAD to execute our "happily ever after" plan, it only made sense to set Emily up with Thom's good friend and college roommate, Frank, who (you guessed it!) then became Emily's future husband. SCORE! And the rest is history. Seven years later, Emily and I both have two awesome children, pretty cool husbands, and crazy lives... which brings us back to the point of this long story.
When Emily was pregnant with her second son, Jaxon, she mentioned a few times "Once I have my second boy, I'm done. My uterus is yours". Though I knew she would do anything for me, I never really took the offer too seriously for many reasons. First off, its easier said than done. Second, I know things change in life and relationships-who really knew how she or Frank would feel about more children a year or two later? And I figured she hadn't even discussed it with Frank-I would never want to put him in a position where he felt obligated to do something that he wasn't comfortable with for OUR benefit. Also, let's be honest-it's not that easy to bring up in casual conversation with a friend "sooo...about your uterus...is it still up for grabs?" But in true Emily fashion, she was already considering these things and on multiple occasions brought the topic back to me. I remember one night around the bonfire on our annual "Girls Weekend" she just laid it out there and said "we need to talk about this baby thing...are we going to do it or not?!" She easily could have backed down when I didn't jump at the first/second/third opportunity but instead she kept coming to ME asking when we could start the process. She was actually excited to put aside 10 months of her own life to help Thom & I bring another baby into OUR family. Now THAT's a best friend. And then of course there's Frank. When the four of us got together to discuss the possibility of proceeding with surrogacy, Frank was very upfront about his fears of what this could mean for Emily and their family (another surgery, incredible stress, time off from work, effects on their children and marriage, etc etc etc). But while expressing all that, he was clear in his final decision which was YES he was 100% on board to help Thom and I expand our family. Of course they owed us for setting them up in the first place (JUSSSSST kidding) but neither of them ever waivered. I could go on forever about what an amazing gift these two are giving to Thom and I. But I think its pretty clear... Emily & Frank are both just amazing people who have undoubtedly shown us selfless love by choosing to take this journey with us.
I read this quote recently which I found perfect.
"THAT'S WHAT YOU DO FOR SOMEONE YOU LOVE....YOU RISK WHAT YOU FEEL FOR WHATEVER THEY NEED" ~anonymous. Em and Frank are doing just that...and its because they love us. We are blessed. :)
SO...now that I've explained (not so briefly) the journey that has brought us here, I thought I'd include some pictures of our trip so far.
Giving Em her first hormone shot. OUCH!
The embryo transfer! All hands on deck and scrubbed in!
Our four kids loved the extra time together while Em and I took COUNTLESS home pregnancy tests. Jaxon IS in there...hidden.
Our FIRST (of many) pink lines. Look closely...we're pregnant!!
Em and I saw Baby Mac for the first time :) SUCH a special moment that I'm confident neither of us will ever forget!
Looking more like a real baby! Thom got to come this time to see the baby kicking around w/ a strong heart beat!
Thom & I find out we're having a BOY!! Never thought I'd see my husband get misty eyed until that moment. :)
Mama kisses and belly snuggles. Em is glowing and growing!
17 WEEKS 4 DAYS TODAY! 2/16/17
